Here's the story of someone who has it worse than I do and how it has impacted, not only his life, but his family as well. The desire, as far back as I can remember into childhood, of wanting to die. I lived this way until about 6 years ago when I finally found the right medication for my disorder. It is not an easy way to live. When you are equally torn between wanting to live and wanting to die. Sometimes, the only thing that keeps you on the side of the living are the people you love. Sometimes, even that isn't enough to save you.
One of my favorite quotes sums it up perfectly. "It's not that I want to kill myself. It's just that I wouldn't mind dying." (Stephen Fry)
http://tinyurl.com/ydb398e
Another interesting tidbit I gleaned from it:
Scientists believe that bipolar disorder may result from genes either inherited or changed during conception that produce faulty proteins; the proteins then interrupt or misdirect certain brain activities, causing the extreme mood swings that define the condition. Stress or traumatic events aren't enough on their own to set the disease in motion, but they are believed to be potential triggers for a person carrying the right switch in their brains.
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