We expect our jobs to always be there. When the economy tanks and we lose our jobs, we suffer.
We expect our husband/wife/children to always love us. When they don't, we are either bitter and angry -- or filled with self-doubts and pain.
We expect others to treat us with respect. Each one of us has a different definition of what respect is. Am I disrespecting you when what you think is a show of respect is different from what I think is a show of respect? Who is right?
We expect to never get sick or have health problems. On the surface, you may read this and say, "Well, that's silly! I'd never expect that!" But then how many of us moan and groan when we get sick and talk about how much we hate it?!? If you didn't expect to always be healthy, then being sick would just be another element of our health.
We expect others to take responsibility for their actions. Yet, how many of us are so good and pure that we always take responsibility for our actions? Example: A cashier at a store is rude to you, so you snap back at them. Instead of showing them compassion, we return the negativity. "But it's not MY fault," you say, "After all, THEY were rude to me first!" You chose to react negatively. Therefore, it's no ones fault but your own!
We expect others to drive a certain way. When someone cuts you off in traffic, do you get angry and call them an idiot or worse? Has it ever occured to you that they honestly didn't see you? Or maybe they are late picking up their child from day care and will be charged money they don't have if they don't get there on time. Maybe their boss kept them late at work and they have no one else to turn to.
Our lives are filled with expectations of others. Yet, if we can show some compassion, perhaps we can exceed the expectations of another? Perhaps we can help someone who is suffering.
A little game I like to play that I have found quite effective (especially in traffic and with rude people) is that I imagine a story for them. Perhaps she just found out her husband is sleeping with her best friend. Maybe he just found out that his mother has been diagnosed with cancer. When I can imagine such a scenario for this person that has pushed my magic angry button, it is much, much easier to feel compassion and disable that little button.
Try it and see if it works for you. Remember: you are only seeing a very, very small part of each person's life. No matter how well you think you know someone, there are still things you may not know or understand.
I'm a perpetual optimist. I believe that each one of us is, at the core, the same. We all want to be loved. We all want to live without fear. We all want our families to be healthy and prosperous. I believe each and every one of us is doing the very best we can with what we have.
I believe that it is only in ignorance that people may be offensive or hurtful. I believe that if they truly understood the pain they cause another, they would not cause that pain. What do most serial killers have in common? They can't feel emotions. If they did, they wouldn't kill. Whose fault is that??
No comments:
Post a Comment