For a few months now I have been struggling with all the things I have committed to. In addition to the volunteer work I do, I also work a full-time job during the day. A few years ago I volunteered to coordinate and maintain the event calendar for Spiral Circle. It has been a wonderful three years and I have enjoyed being able to provide a service to everyone, teachers and customers. I also worked as a volunteer on Friday evenings.
When I first started doing these things, I was just "waking up" from my spiritual slumber. Over the past few years, I have grown and learned so very much. I have learned enough to realize that I have so very much more to learn.
In addition to the calendar, working Friday nights at the store and my full time job during the day, I also facilitate, or co-facilitate, five other groups. For at least six months I have seriously struggled with staying on top of everything I have committed to. I have also struggled with "just what do I give up?"
It is very difficult for me to walk away from a commitment I have made, especially when I realize that I do it well and can make a difference. But when you reach a point of overload, just how much of a difference are you REALLY making?
So, after many months of struggling with just what to give up, the most logical choice was the calendar and working Friday nights. The calendar had become quite a time-consuming task. I know teachers and potential teachers were becoming frustrated with me because they couldn't reach me or didn't get as quick a response as they desired. Understandable. I was also becoming frustrated with me.
Although I am truly sad to give up this service to Spiral Circle and customers, I can feel some of the pressure removed from my shoulders and can breath a little more easily. I didn't realize just HOW heavy a burden it had become until the prospect of giving it up became a reality with the decision to move ahead with relinquishing it.
The lesson: just because you committed to it three years ago, does not mean it is meant to be forever. We must ALL remember to go with the flow -- and yet take good care of ourselves in the process.
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