I see my doctor today, so that's a good thing. Still finding I can be just fine one minute, then just as easily flip and become depressed. Feeling a little anxiety and my chest is tight. Maybe he can give me something to help ease me through the holidays. I really do hate the holidays. I've already cut out giving gifts to anyone, but I still struggle with not being able to give. Even though the budget doesn't really change, it almost seems like I feel even more pressure with the budget during the holidays. Maybe just the reminder when I look at my bank balance that I can't do anything for anyone. This year, I'm even struggling just doing for Steven, and that REALLY stresses me out! Not to mention, what he wants is to expensive. *sigh*
Trying to take deep breaths. Right now, just trying to keep from bursting into tears. I hate fighting back the tears. And it's really hard for me to hide how I'm feeling so everyone at work thinks I'm not friendly, when all I'm trying to do is keep it together and not burst into tears.
Doesn't help that this is one of the more stressful times at work and it's not helping how I feel.
Drugs...drugs...give me drugs... Trying to meditate, and that helps, but it's a really struggle to keep the calm and balanced state of mind.
We'll see what the doc says..
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