Sunday, August 30, 2009

circle of life

In the past week, and especially in the past few days, I have had more people express their love and gratitude to me than I have felt in a long time.  I'm not talking about pity.  I'm talking about the love and gratitude I can see shining from their eyes.  I can feel the peace in their hearts and souls when I am around them.

What is beyond description for me is the realization that when we move in the flow of the Universe, when we listen with our hearts and our souls, and we make that connection with others, the beauty that comes of it.  What I am struggling to describe here is that while people express their gratitude for what Troy and I do in facilitating the meditation group they have no idea that I feel the same depth of gratitude that they keep sitting with us.  Knowing that they come and sit, not because we are some great guru or shining beauty, but because we are able to be in service by creating a welcoming environment that supports their commitment to their personal meditation practice.

Some ask me, "Why do you do it?  Why do you do so much for so many groups?  You never have time for yourselves!" 

Although I realize that we do put a lot of time and energy into what we do, it is all a joy to be a part of. In the beginning it was challenging and scary and difficult to meditate and facilitate. However, in a very short time I began to see the benefits many people, including Troy and I, were receiving from our regular meditation practice with the group. Because of the group, I have a strong meditation practice today that carries over into my daily life outside of the group.  As a result, my bipolar is a little easier to manage and my life is much more peaceful.

What am I struggling to express is this:
The facilitator begets the group
begets the grateful meditator
begets the dedicated facilitator
begets another dedicated meditator
Holy cow, but is that Tao or what? Definitely must have channeled that little piece. Yet it so very, very true.  It is a beautiful confirmation to live with each day knowing I am completely in the flow of the universe and doing something that allows me to be in service to others while also being in service to myself.  To know that you are part of something so loving and pure.  To be connected with so many beautiful people who all seek the same things: to know themselves and each other better; to walk the higher road; to practice loving kindness and compassion; to find peace. 

Tell me, is there anything out there as beautiful as that?

Each time I think of this I feel something inside me, where our heart and soul resides, that expands within my chest.  It is something so beautiful and pure, love is not an adequate word to describe it.  This is when you know that you have that spark of the Divine deep within you.

And if I can feel something this beautiful and perfect and pure inside me right now, then everything in my life - the stress, the suffering, the bipolar -- are all important pieces of the Divine puzzle that is Karen.

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