I have so many ideas flying through my head right now. Deep thoughts. Serious insight. I cannot write it fast enough. Last night I came up with three new blog topics. No one is going to read all of this!! But then, do I care? Well, yeah I do. It's the only way I know how to express myself and hope that the ones I love and care about can understand me better. But if they don't, well, that's their loss because this is an opportunity to get to know me a lot better. At the same time, I'm hoping through this blog I will also understand myself better.
Last night I was really getting spun up. Couldn't stop talking at 100-miles an hour. Nervous energy, had trouble sitting still. At one point I felt as if I could implode from all the energy I felt zipping through me.
Why are childhood memories coming up now? It was clear last night, but I didn't write it down and now I can't remember. Dammit! I hate when that happens! Maybe it will come back when I have time to write about it.
The only thing that is different about the childhood memories coming up now is that they are not me in the victim role and someone as the aggressor. It is I who is the agressor and someone else the victim. Having a little trouble dealing with some of those. Don't want to think about them and they keep coming back.
Hmm..must be part of what all this meditation stuff is all about. Dragging all the crap and crud and spider webs out of the corners of your mind. Time to clean them up and put them into their proper places. Accept, Own, and Release with Light and Love.
Oh yeah, and Forgive myself. Hmmm...
Friday, August 21, 2009
It's not FAIR!!! Pigs flying and all....
I have so many ideas flying through my head right now. Deep thoughts. Serious insight. I cannot write it fast enough. Last night I came up with three new blog topics. No one is going to read all of this!! But then, do I care? Well, yeah I do. It's the only way I know how to express myself and hope that the ones I love and care about can understand me better. But if they don't, well, that's their loss because this is an opportunity to get to know me a lot better. At the same time, I'm hoping through this blog I will also understand myself better.
Last night I was really getting spun up. Couldn't stop talking at 100-miles an hour. Nervous energy, had trouble sitting still. At one point I felt as if I could implode from all the energy I felt zipping through me.
Why are childhood memories coming up now? It was clear last night, but I didn't write it down and now I can't remember. Dammit! I hate when that happens! Maybe it will come back when I have time to write about it.
The only thing that is different about the childhood memories coming up now is that they are not me in the victim role and someone as the aggressor. It is I who is the agressor and someone else the victim. Having a little trouble dealing with some of those. Don't want to think about them and they keep coming back.
Hmm..must be part of what all this meditation stuff is all about. Dragging all the crap and crud and spider webs out of the corners of your mind. Time to clean them up and put them into their proper places. Accept, Own, and Release with Light and Love.
Oh yeah, and Forgive myself. Hmmm...
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It's the release that's the most challenging part. We tend to have a LOT invested in our memories--especially the ones where we're the victims. Sometimes I'm faced with something and have to ask myself-what do I get out of holding on to this? And why is that important to me?
ReplyDeleteI am the queen of holding on, but it's so good to let go!
Sounds to me like you need to start a Wiki! Great way to build on your thoughts. Can't wait to see the list of ideas you are having.
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